The Visible Gospel

I have heard a lot of talk about abortion recently (specifically in the faith-based community). It is, of course, a very prevalent issue for pro-lifers when it comes to electing a new (or re-electing a current) president.

Now the last thing I want to do (which I know I will) is spark outrage among readers. But I feel this needs to be talked about. I will, however, preface this by stating firmly that Clayton and I are 100% pro-life. This leads me to my question, though.

How can people say they are pro-life and yet show no (or little) support for adoption?

Last year (2011) there were over 1.2 million abortions performed in the United States alone. Some of you may be surprised by this, while to others this could be old news. Now, let's say that these women decided to give the child life, while knowing all along that they could not (or would not) care for it. 

Now let's look at the foster system. There are currently more than 500 thousand children in the US Foster system. 129,000 of them are legal orphans and waiting for a “forever” home. Now let's do the math: If there are already 129,000 children who are unable to find permanent homes, what would we do with 1.2 million more “unwanted” children?

So what happens to these children who remain “unwanted”? Approximately 20,000 children age 16 and older emancipate from the system every year. Nearly 40% of these youth will be homeless within 18 months of discharge. Girls who emancipate from foster care are 3x more likely than non-foster youth to have a child by age 19... Keep in mind those are just the girls who choose to have the child.

How can we so easily justify picketing abortion clinics, attending pro-life rallies, or willingly condemn our neighbor who is pro-choice, and yet so readily ignore the “unwanted” children who we already have even in our own communities?

It seems easy enough to mark the “right” box on the voting ballot, or to throw rotten tomatoes at Planned Parenthood events, but is that really where our responsibility lies? Even if you feel these things are important (which you may or may not), does it stop there?

How long will the Christian community refuse to share God's heart for orphans? How long can we get away with feeling “righteous” because we voted for a pro-life, Republican candidate? How long can we avoid our responsibility to the less fortunate by distracting ourselves with petty politics or excuses?

There are over 300,000 “Christian” churches in the United States. Let's say even half of them are true Bible-believing churches. That's 150,000 churches nationwide. This includes mega churches (tens of thousands of members). How is it even remotely possible that we still have 129,000 children awaiting families in our own country? Something must change.

Galatians 4:4-6 states: “But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, "Abba, Father." We were adopted into God's family. Is adoption not the most beautiful picture of redemption?

Isaiah 1:17 calls us to “Defend the cause of orphans.” How much longer can we neglect and ignore the 47 places in scripture where it talks about God's heart for orphans? How much longer can we refuse to live out the gospel in the most visible way? How much longer can we sit back with our American comforts and convince ourselves that we do “enough”?

I'll end with the following quote by Derek Loux. Derek spent most of his adult life at the forefront of adoption and orphan care. He and his wife adopted seven children and were in the process of creating a therapeutic home for thirty orphans when he was killed in a car crash in 2009. He wrote this about his extremely frustrating time in Ukraine in 2008 while adopting his three little boys (two of whom have Down Syndrome).

“On the drive home that night, the Lord whispered in my ear, “This is Redemption. Derek, do you know how far I traveled to get you and bring you back? I had to be separated from my Son in order to get you, just like you are separated from your children in order to get these boys. Do you know how expensive it was for Me to purchase you? It cost Me everything. Do you know how broken, sick, damaged, twisted, dirty, smelly, and hopeless you were? And at the end of it all, you had nothing to give Me or add to Me. I did it for you. I emptied myself and became nothing so that you could have it all. This is redemption.”

Why Not?

Well, I'd planned to continue our last blog, but much has happened in the last two weeks!

On Saturday March 24th we got a call from the same caseworker who worked on T & C's case in December. He was wondering if we'd be interested in adopting a sibling group...a sibling group of FIVE. Yes, five. He asked if we'd like to hear more. I paused then said..."Sure..." After explaining the situation, and describing each of the kids, the caseworker asked if we'd be interested in learning more, in which case he could drive up that afternoon. I asked Clayton and he said "Sure!" The caseworker was excited and explained that they were not yet legally freed for adoption, but would be in June and he really wanted this to be the kids' last move. They had no other foster-adopt families who would take all five of them, and the department really hoped to keep them all together. After talking to the caseworker in person and getting additional information on each of the kids, we told him that we would have an answer for him by Monday morning.
After he left, Clayton and I went to Palisades for dinner. Clayton was being very quiet, so finally after getting our drinks, I asked him "So...how are you feeling? Do you think it's something we should do?" He immediately responded "Yeah, why not?"

Why Not?

The human part of me could have raddled off about a million answers to that question.

 - Because it's FIVE (plus little "Tato"), when we only agreed to take three or four total.
 - Because half of the kids were out of our original age range.
 - Because we will have adopted five children by our second wedding anniversary.
 - Because we're 24 and 25 years old.
 - Because we've never met these children.
 - Because we're living off one law enforcement officer's salary.
 - Because we have a 3 bedroom house and have nowhere to put everyone.
 - Because people already think we're crazy...what will they think now?
 - Because we will have gone from a family of 2 to a family of 8 in about four months. 
 - Because, by golly, we're American and that's just not how people do things.

But then again, God often asks his people to do what society tells us is "crazy". We've learned not to view anything as impossible. God is SO faithful and he always provides a way for his people to do his work. Maybe that's why we got that unexpected call on a Saturday afternoon amid our Spring cleaning. Maybe that's why Clayton, who is probably one of the most cautious people I've ever met with big decisions, responded to the task of raising five children with an uncharacteristic "why not?"

Whatever the reason, we got to meet two of our future beautiful daughters last Friday. K(12) and M(10) stayed the weekend with us, and will be coming permanently this Friday April 7th. P(7) and L(7) will be moving in when school is out in late May, and V(11) will be transitioned in after that. We still don't know exactly how we're going to fit everyone, nor have we even met V, L or P. BUT we trust that God will figure out the details because, well, he always does!

"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world, when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid He may ask me the same question." (Anonymous)

Hello All,
We have, once again, been neglecting our little blog. Oops! Well, since our last post we celebrated our one year anniversary which was very exciting (and a little creepy....we ended up at a bed & breakfast that I swear had to be straight out of a horror film)! But it gave us plenty of memories, to say the least.

Date Night

Pictures of random people on the wall surrounding our bed....

The creepy faded wedding dress that was hanging on our wall may have been the eeriest part....

We are also currently on our second foster placement. We got our first placement the week before finals which was not ideal timing, but it was an incredible experience. (Sidenote: It did work out and I graduated the next week, which is another big thing since our last post - FINALLY). Anyway, back to the important stuff: The kids were 11 and (almost) 9. Boy and girl. We were a little nervous when we got the call because they were on the upper end of our age spectrum, and from a pretty sketchy background. We just kept praying that God would shut the door if he didn't want us to get them. We got the call at 2:30 in the afternoon. (This was after I had pulled an all-nighter finishing my senior project/portfolio). At 5:15 I was on my way to pick them up. By 5:45 I had completely lost my heart to these kids. They came with issues, yes. Plenty of them. But don't we all? They were dirty, smelly, constantly quoted South Park (so appropriate) and "C" had a knot in her hair the size of an infant's head. They clearly hadn't been groomed in days, and they had nothing more than the clothes on their backs. Clayton was at work, but thankfully my wonderful parents had done a quick clean-up at our house and picked up some PJs from Wal-Mart while I was on my way to get these little strangers.

After I'd gotten them fed (McDonalds - Healthy start, I know) and they'd been showered, I started to see their personalities coming through. They were so much more than just "foster kids": The title given to anyone under 18 who can't live safely at home. The title that our society tends to use hand-in-hand with "troubled youth", "high risk kids" or, in the most common (albeit ignorant) terms, "Screw-ups". These kids were beautiful. Yes, "T" enjoyed antagonizing his sister, he may have struggled with honesty, stealing, and often tested the waters to see what he could get away with. "C" was very 'parentified' (which comes with its own set of issues), she would tattle on "T" often, and was starved for attention. But their hearts were beautiful. These kids had been trampled on, neglected, abused, suffered all different kinds of abandonment, and had experienced far too much of the world at far too young of an age.
But despite their numerous issues; not being able to sit together for more than five seconds without someone getting hurt (hit, shoved, bit, hair pulled, etc), their constant bickering, "T"s defiance, "C"s whining, and the list goes on......These kids showed us what it means to not only be a parent, but to be a Christian. God accepts us even when we are beat down, filthy, defiant, and bitter. He accepts us because he sees our heart. He knows where we've been and the poor decisions we've made, but he loves us regardless. How crazy comforting is that? 

What it comes down to, is that all these kids want is to be loved. We've gotten lucky to be placed with kids who were easy to love (at least in our opinion). But even if they're prickly and argumentative and rip-off-your-ears annoying, that's ultimately what it comes down to. We are all born with that innate desire. So why is it so hard for some to find? Why aren't there more people out there willing to love on these kids (or adults) who have never truly known love? It's really easy to talk about, but why don't more people do something about it? So many people have said "Wow. That's so great that you're foster parents. I just know there's no way I could do that". Wanna bet? We have just as many issues as the next family. If you have ever been that person who sits in a coffee shop somewhere and says "oh those poor kids" or "there are just so many injustices in the world..sigh" and you are capable of loving another human being, then why not? Why "can't" you do it? More importantly, if you won't, then who will?


To finish the "T" & "C" story, after five days of loving on these kids, a friend of their Mom was located and agreed to take the kids. They were both devastated at first, begging us not to "make" them go (which only added to our difficulty in letting them go). But thankfully we've been able to stay in touch, and their caretaker truly does love them and is doing her best to get them the services and support they need. We still love getting to talk to them on occasion, and we got to buy some girl scout cookies from "C" last month, which is always exciting:) They'll always be the kids who welcomed us into the foster world. They taught us (in a brief five days) what is means to be parents, and helped purify our view of what it means to be a Christian.


We are now on our second foster placement, who we've had about a month. "Tato" is now ten months old, and the MOST BEAUTIFUL child. Since we have to protect privacy and can't post pictures publicly, you'll just have to trust us on that:) He'll likely be with us at least another 4 or 5 months, which is scary because we're already head-over-heels in love with him, and can't imagine him leaving! BUT the cycle continues....

TO BE CONTINUED

.

Chosen

This is something Tracie Loux posted on her blog. Tracie is a mother to seven beautiful children, four of which are adopted. Several of her adopted children have down syndrome and countless other medical frailties. Reading about their mission and call to adopt completely blows me away. I was just super touched by this post and she gave me permission to share it, so here ya go:-)


Today I was chatting with a friend about adoption and foster care and by the end of the conversation my heart was so gripped that I just had to share some of our conversation and the thoughts that I have had since:

Chosen (adj)- having been selected as the best.

Our conversation thrust before my eyes the striking similarities between children waiting in foster care hoping to be CHOSEN, facing the rejection of NOT being chosen and then carrying that pain deep in their hearts when they are not, and the families pursuing adoption who are waiting and hoping to be CHOSEN, facing the rejection of NOT being chosen and hoping to hear the words, “You have been chosen,” the next time the phone rings.

Chosen. To have been selected as the best. We have all known to some degree what it is like to be chosen and the sting of not being chosen. Whether it was being chosen to be on the “blue team” in gym class, chosen to read your story aloud to the class, chosen as Home Coming queen, chosen as class president, or the strikingly opposite, not chosen for a part in the school play, not chosen to attend a birthday party that all your friends were attending, not chosen to be the first in line.

Imagine this: Your face is on a website, it may read something like this under your picture: “Tracie (16) is a friendly, organized, outgoing young lady who loves reading, art and music, she would love to join a family who has young children. She says she would love to be a big sister, and help teach other kids how to draw.”  She knows her face is there, and yet her social worker tells her that no one has inquired. Or worse, several families have inquired, a few have even met her, and she has still not been chosen. Each time her heart hurts. The sting of rejection digs deep and she wonders what is wrong with her, why she isn’t good enough, what she could possibly do to have someone want her, CHOOSE her.

Imagine.

And if you are reading this you are quite possible waiting to be CHOSEN too, waiting for a birth mom to find you good enough, fit, or as the word’s very definition indicates, the best. You may be one of the ones who has not been chosen, maybe time and time again, you’ve heard “she CHOSE another family.” Maybe your heart is heavy and you are fighting off feeling as though you have somehow been rejected, that for some reason, you just aren’t good enough.

At the center of the human heart we all long to be loved, wanted, needed. We long to be CHOSEN.
Ephesians tells a powerful story of those who have been chosen. Each one of us.

“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will— to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.” Eph. 1:4-6

We were created to be loved. Created to be wanted. Created to be chosen.

And when we are not. It hurts.

So tonight if you are praying for that phone call telling you that you have been chosen to be the parents of a child through adoption, I encourage you to also pray for those children who are waiting for families, waiting tonight to hear if they have been chosen.

'Tis The Season

As we approach each holiday season we are so often reminded that "we need to take some time and think of or pray for those less fortunate." Yes. I think it is great to pray for, or "think of" (whatever that means) those who aren't receiving scads of gifts, delicious food, and plenty of loving family time. But is that it?

 After offering up a quick prayer or pondering their plight for a brief moment do we then simply delve into our annual American delicacies and tear into our countless gifts? We always hear that "it's the thought that counts", right? But what if we could do more. We, as Americans, and especially as Christians are really good at talking about the world's problems. We can spend hours in a coffee shop chatting with our friends about Darfur, world hunger, abortion, domestic violence, sexual victimization, and those less fortunate than ourselves. But what if we actually did something about it? What if, instead of asking for a new TV for Christmas, you suggested money be sent to a charity of your choice. Instead of buying someone a Starbucks gift card, maybe I could go online to gospelforasia.org or a similar site and purchase chickens or rabbits for a single mother living in poverty (they will then send the giver a card that they can give to whoever would have gotten the gift so that they know what their gift is doing for someone in a third world country). What if we did?

This is not at all meant to be condemning or accusatory of anyone. We are all guilty of it. This is also not my attempt at getting everyone I know to fore-go all holiday celebrations. It's just that we live in a nation and society that loves to talk about our faith, our divine rights, and to discuss ways of solving the world's problems. But just imagine if we all thought of at least one thing that we were willing to sacrifice for someone else. OK, imagine actually doing it. Making that small sacrifice. Now imagine, for a moment, just how far that could go.

Finally!

Well, it's finally Here: We have completed the crazy process required to become foster and adoptive parents! We had our home inspection on Monday and, in a panic, were rushing around wiping down counters, washing dishes, taking out recycling, emptying the trash, changing the litter box, sweeping the floor and.....the "inspection" took all of twenty minutes. I personally felt rather disappointed that she didn't even check my freshly scrubbed shower. Nevertheless we are finished and our first official day of being licensed will be October 1st :-) We should be able to start inquiring on specific sibling groups within the next two weeks!

Preparing for Children

My good-lookin' handyman building bunk beds for the boys' room.

Covering the brown paint with light green.

The final product!

The girls' room.

All of the bedspreads were used by myself and my siblings growing up, and the beds in the girls' room were made by my Dad back in the early nineties for Beth and me. They work perfectly in this room!

We also painted the front door :-) Home owning is fun!

More Pictures

And he doesn't like small dogs....

They make a very strange duo....

But are so stinkin' cute!

 New Vehicle

We are open to fostering or adopting as many as four children, so we decided we had better trade in my CR-V for an eight passenger vehicle. We ended up buying a 2002 Chevrolet Tahoe and we love it!

 Cheers!

The Close to Our Summer

Throughout the busy summer we have forgotten to update on several things! First of all, the most important is that we welcomed another beautiful niece to the world on July 12th. Her name is Charlotte Jane Anspaugh and she and Bethany are both healthy and doing great!


Welcome Charlie!

 Another (slightly less important thing) is that we purchased an ATV earlier this summer and it's been great having a "toy" to take out in the evenings. We had been going with Sandra and Scott a lot when we visited, so we'd been looking for one for a long time. Finally we found one very reasonably priced, and decided to jump on it!

While Becky starts school on the 23rd, Clayton is set to be done with training on August 17th which is very exciting, as we will then be able to settle into a routine....or so we hope....